


Friday I'm in Love

by almostblue (fictionalaspect)



Series: B.A.P short fics [4]
Category: B.A.P, K-pop
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Babies, Babysitting, Bbangchan, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-27
Updated: 2013-05-27
Packaged: 2017-12-13 04:43:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/820113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalaspect/pseuds/almostblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the "Accidental Baby Acquisition" prompt over at <a href="">Abridged B.A.P Trope Bingo</a></p>
            </blockquote>





	Friday I'm in Love

**Author's Note:**

> Let's be real, BYG loves kids and wants six zillion of them, but I wanted to write something absurd so...here we are. Thank you to bictory for the read through!

"Oh, hey," Yongguk mumbles, as he sees Himchan's head poking through the door of their door. He's seated at the kitchen table, his mouth full of cereal. "I'm glad it's you, I had some..."

Yongguk trails off, still holding his spoon halfway to his mouth as Himchan enters and shut the door behind him.

"What?" Himchan snaps, after a full minute where Yongguk can't really do anything more than stare.

"You have a baby," Yongguk finally says, because the reality is right in front of him and he's ruled all out all the other options. Himchan is wearing a baby sling across his body, one arm curled protectively over a tiny, tiny black head with little tufts of hair. He's holding a large diaper bag over one shoulder, and dragging a baby stroller behind him. 

Himchan sighs. "This is Jihyun," he says, keeping one arm around the baby while he sets down his gigantic, flowered pink bag and pushes the stroller out of the way. The baby sling is purple, and has tiny hearts on it. It's the western kind, instead of the traditional Korean kind that goes in the back. Yongguk is still having visual processing issues. "She's my niece." 

"Minsuh had a baby?" Yongguk says, setting down his spoon. He didn't know Minsuh had a baby. Had Himchan even told them? "Why didn't you tell us! We should have sent her a present."

"I did tell you," Himchan says. "Don't you remember that time I called and woke you up at 4am and told you about it?"

"Not really," Yongguk says. Jihyun is so tiny. Yongguk has no idea what to do with a baby. He really, really hopes Himchan does. "It was 4am." 

"It's--never mind," Himchan says. "Anyway, just send something to the baek-il, she's only 79 days."

"Okay," Yongguk says, and then asks the obvious question. "So...why do you have your sister's baby?"

"We had lunch," Himchan sighs, sitting down on the couch. A tiny fist pokes out from the sling, and Yongguk can tell that Jihyun is starting to wake up. "And she asked for just a few hours off, and she said that B.A.P is like family anyway, and besides who would even be at the dorms, and I said yes because...well, you know why I said yes," Himchan says, looking guiltily at the floor. 

Yongguk nods. "I have absolutely no idea what to do with a baby," he says, because he feels like he should make that clear. "I don't--Please tell me you know what to do with the baby." 

"It's really not that hard," Himchan says, rolling his eyes, shushing Jihyun and rocking her a bit as he digs through the large pink bag. "They sleep, they cry, and they eat. And right now, she wants to eat."

"How do you know?" Yongguk says, mystified.

"Because she's making a face at me that says _Uncle Himchan, if you don't feed me I'm going to start crying and then throw up on your favorite Givenchy shirt._ " 

"You're wearing a sweatshirt," Yongguk points out.

"She'll find it."

"Can she even walk?"

"No," Himchan says. "She's two months old, of course she can't walk. Here, I need you to heat this up," he says, holding a package of formula out to Yongguk. 

Yongguk blinks at him. 

"She's going to get fussy," Himchan warns, lifting Jihyun out of the carrier and setting it aside. She squirms, gurgling in a vaguely threatening way. Yongguk takes the package of formula.

"So I just..."

"It's like ramen," Himchan says. "Follow the directions. Oh, and we need to sanitize the bottles..." 

"Shouldn't we call someone else?" Yongguk says helplessly, staring at the package of formula. "Maybe we could take her to the studio. I think Hyosung and Sunhwa are there today--"

"Bang Yongguk," Himchan says, an evil smile starting to grow on his face. "Are you scared of a _baby_?"

"No," Yongguk lies. He reads the instructions on the formula packet, and then adds the right amount of water, pouring it into a pan. The instructions also tell him that he needs to boil the bottle in hot water, so he fills a second pan as well, placing it on the back burner. 

"What would you do if I made you hold her?" Himchan says, grinning and slowly advancing across the kitchen. He has Jihyun over his shoulder, rubbing her back as she fusses. She's definitely starting to get cranky. 

"I'm not holding her," Yongguk says quickly. "I can't. I'm not. What if I drop her?"

"What if I have to go to the bathroom?" Himchan says innocently. "I need both hands for that."

"Then--then--put her on the couch," Yongguk says, trying to hide his face by turning back to the stove. This is mortifying. "Isn't that what you do? You like...put a blanket down. And then put the baby on it. Or something." 

"This is hilarious," Himchan says. "I wish I wasn't holding Jihyun right now so I could videotape this. "You're terrified."

"I'm not!" Yongguk insists, even though he is. Jihyun is so tiny and so small and what if he hurts her? What if he drops her or breaks her or something awful happens and then she cries and he doesn't know what to do and--

"Oh my god, you should see your face right now," Himchan laughs. "Here. Just go sit on the couch and hold her, I have to check the formula."

"But," Yongguk says desperately.

"Like this," Himchan says, rolling his eyes as he follows Yongguk back across the kitchen to the couch. He pulls a fuzzy blanket out of the pink bag and puts it on Yongguk's lap. "Support her neck and head, don't drop her, and just lay back against the couch," Himchan says, handing her over carefully. Yongguk doesn't move a muscle until Himchan is satisfied with the way he's holding her. 

"Okay," Himchan says, nodding. "Now just stay like that. And don't freak out."

"I won't freak out," Yongguk promises weakly. Jihyun is looking up at him. She has such tiny hand and tiny fingernails and dark eyes. She's gone quiet now, fascinated by this new person.

"Hi," Yongguk says awkwardly. "I'm, um. Yongguk. I'm your Uncle Channie's friend." 

"I am _not_ Uncle Channie. Also she's an infant, she doesn't know what you're saying. You don't have to introduce yourself."

"It's polite," Yongguk says stubbornly. Jihyun suddenly lets out a cry and waves her fist around. Yongguk tries to make sure he doesn't get hit in the face and ends up with her holding on to his finger. He can't believe that people are so small when they're first born. He feels huge. He just wants to protect her, all of a sudden. It's a strange feeling. 

"Good job," Himchan says, coming back with the bottle. "See? You held her for five minutes and you didn't die. You want to feed her?"

"Uh--"

"This is all good life experience," Himchan says, and Yongguk knows his bastard of a best friend is enjoying this way, way too much. "Now when you have a baby, you'll know what to do."

"I'm not having a baby," Yongguk says. "Hell fucking no, I am not having a baby. Are you crazy?"

"I meant eventually," Himchan says, handing Yongguk the bottle and showing him how to hold her and burp her, how to lift her up and how to make sure she doesn't drink too much at once. Jihyun stares up at him the whole time, dark eyes impassive. "You don't want kids?"

"You know I want to adopt," Yongguk says. Babies aren't really on his radar. He can honestly say that the amount of time he's spent in the past 23 years thinking about babies is probably a grand total of five minutes, and that's usually when someone in the studio has one and he has to congratulate them. He likes _kids_. "Do you want kids?"

"Maybe," Himchan says. "Eventually." 

"You're really good with her, though," Yongguk says. 

"I'm also impatient, rude, thoughtless, selfish, and vain," Himchan says. "I'm not exactly a candidate for Future Parent of the year." He raises an eyebrow at Yongguk. 

"You're good with Jihyun," Yongguk says, as Himchan reaches over to take the bottle and reminds Yongguk that he needs to burp her again. 

"She's my niece. It's different." 

"But you know how to do everything." 

"I have a lot of relatives," Himchan says. "Guess who always got stuck babysitting when Minsuh wasn't around." 

"I can't imagine you babysitting," Yongguk says, grinning. "Himchan's One-Stop Babysitting Service?"

"If you ever tell the others I'll show them those pictures on my zip drive," Himchan says casually. Yongguk shuts up, because almost nothing is worth that. No one needs to see the time he got drunk enough that he agreed to let Himchan make him up as a girl. And it's not even the makeup, or the respect he might lose--it's that Yongguk was the _ugliest girl ever._ Stupid Himchan. 

"I hate you," Yongguk says, because he feels like he needs to remind Himchan of that fact sometimes.

"That's nice," Himchan says. "Here, give her back to me, I want to hold her." 

"I could blackmail you so bad right now," Yongguk says, watching as Himchan coos at his niece. 

"But is it worth your dignity?" Himchan says. "That's the price you have to ask yourself." 

"I don't know," Yongguk says, grinning as he hears the faint sound of footsteps in the hall. It looks like he's not going to have to blackmail Himchan after all. "Is it worth yours?"

The door bursts open, because Daehyun is in front and Yongguk has never seen him once open a door without bursting through it. He's teasing Youngjae about something. They're all in their dance practice clothes, sneakers and sweats and basketball shorts. Junhong and Jongup are behind them. 

"I'm just saying," Daehyun says. "You need to thrust harder. The whole point of that move is to show all the BABYs how _manly_ you are." He makes a grab for Youngjae's crotch, and Youngjae twists away, yelping. Yongguk watches silently as it turns into a slapfight. Sometimes he wonders about his band. 

"Himchan hyung," Junhong says finally, looking confused. "Why do you have a baby?" 

Everyone comes to a stop, complete with Youngjae's hand covering Daehyun's face in a half-hearted attempt to suffocate him. 

"This is Himchan's niece Jihyun," Yongguk says. "She's going to be here for a few hours. Play nice." 

"Oh my god, she's so cute," Youngjae says, pushing Daehyun away and completely ignoring him in face of squishing in next to Himchan on the couch. He brushes his fingers over her tiny feet, and she giggles. "Hyung, can I hold her?" 

"How many babies have you held," Himchan says, giving him a deeply suspicious look. 

"A lot," Youngjae says. "My aunt has five kids. Please?"

"You have a _baby_ ," Junhong says, still staring at Himchan in confusion. Behind him, Jongup grins and finally shuts the door. He seems unfazed, as usual. 

"It's not like I'm her _dad_ ," Himchan says crankily, as he hands her over to Youngjae, who immediately starts cooing at her. "She's just my niece. Minsuh will be back soon to pick her up."

"...weird," Junhong says finally, shaking his head and walking into the dorms. 

Yongguk laughs. 

"Smart kid," he says, grinning at Himchan. 

"Shut up," Himchan says, biting his lip on a smile. "You held a baby today, Bang Yongguk, and you're already totally in love with her. Don't pretend like you aren't."

"Maybe," Yongguk admits, wondering if he has any extra-small Tiggers lying around. "Maybe, like. Just a little."


End file.
